• Coach’s Conundrum #8
Coach’s Conundrum (a series)
This is a new series: my collection of pithy principles that need some explanation. The implementing of these conundrums could alter your paradigm for children’s ministry or influence the way you approach kids. (look at the Tab Coach’s Conundrums for the other seven)
# 8. No Team Ever Wins When Each Player Chooses Their Own Game Plan.
Working on a church staff ultimately means you have to learn to be a team player. Working solo apart from the collaboration and cooperation of a team is not really a winning strategy. Your working relationships are like the oil that makes a good team and a good team-plan work. Frankly, to be an active-team member, it always takes intentional effort to make it work.
Here are few suggestions for improving your ability to function as part of a team.
1. Work on your Listening Skills. If you are only following the dialogue in staff meeting by listening to the literal words, you are missing half of the message. Be aware of tone, facial expression and body language. Pick up on someone exploring an idea or brainstorming. Clarify what others are saying by repeating it to test what they are saying is correct, before you share your reactions. Of course, if you are tweeting and/or texting in the meeting, you send the message that what others are saying is not worthy of your full-undivided attention. Maybe, they will do the same to you. NOT
2. Try to Learn Constructive Criticism. Be sure you have really heard “the ideas” before you offer a quick response. Ask for the consideration to discuss plans in staff before they are set in concrete, so that plans can be implemented with less potential adjustment to changes that affect your area of ministry. Often ideas for adult ministries are not thought through as to how it would impact the children’s ministry. Go with the idea more before you give them your rational as to why it would not work or be problematic for you. Add you constructive comments without attacking the person proposing them. Becoming an advocate for your children should not be a personal defense. Keep it about the program and the children.
3. Learn How to Defer and Prefer. Be quick to express agreement on what you can agree upon. Prefer one another and their ministry. Affirm good work and good decisions others on the team are making. Do not always expect your ideas to work with everybody else, but work towards unity and the least amount of impact for implementing new programming. Try to anticipate how your ideas will impact other areas of ministry, not just your own. Show interest in programs that come from others on the staff team.
4. Expect some Conflict. While coming to agreement is the goal of good planning, you will disagree and have some conflict getting there. However, you will experience quite the heated conflict if you become argumentative and raise you voice. Keep your exchanges “tentative.” as opposed to “opinionated.” Try not to make sweeping generalizations, or exaggerations. Try statements like…“I wonder what would happen if…” or “What would you think about…” or “What if we considered….” Could we just try it as an “experiment” to see how it might work?” You might get extra points for being conciliatory. There is an art to how to negotiate, so prepare!
5. Demonstrate your Commitment to the Team. Determine how you can show your commitment to the team. Sometimes this is compromise for the good of the team. It might be “not always having to win.” You have to learn that every battle is not worth dying for—“chose your battles carefully, but do not loose the war.” You cannot always get what you want, neither can the rest of the team. Write an encouraging note to show support of good work and ideas. And if say positive compliments about someone on staff, it just might get back to them and mean more.
A good axiom for working together is “Doing together what neither of you could do alone.”
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