• “Crazi Holidazi’s” Alert!
“Crazi Holidazi’s” Alert! So what are you going to be doing different this Thanksgiving, Halloween and Christmas? This Holiday Trio are, by far, the biggest holidays for kids in our American Culture.
Are you planning some kind of church outreach event to reach and teach more children? Maybe you will be trying to counter the growing secularization of these holidays? The stores are already looking like Christmas, and we have not had Thanksgiving and Halloween yet. Maybe you need to be more deliberate in your programming to make a difference. With a little effort and some advanced planning with your leaders, you can address this trend, which seeks to rob the truth out of our traditions. Maybe…
• What Parents Need to Know
What Parents Need to Know!
We all talk about partnering with Parents, but what does that look like for the teacher? How is it that teachers can partner with the parents of the children in their class? It is quite easy to concentrate on the lesson preparation and managing the class each week and totally ignore any involvement with the parents. So what is it that parents need to know from the teacher of their children?
Here are my Seven Things that any involved parent would appreciate knowing from their child’s teacher.
- Your Interest! Parents want to know how interested you are to have their child in your class. That interest begins to show in how you greet child coming into class. It shows when you talk after class. It shows when you encounter the parents outside class. It shows in how you respond to their child anywhere.
- Your Intent! If you intend to assist the parent in influencing their child that is reflected in what you send home, how you talk to them, how encouraging you are about following through on lessons taught. If you intend to care, nurture and teach their child, they need to know that.
- Your Invitation! You need to demonstrate how welcoming you are to have them participate in any thing that the child is involved in. You might invite the parents to church functions, if they are not already involved. Maybe, you share so the parents can come to faith in Christ. You want their involvement, so you give all the signals of being inviting.
- Your Involvement! Obviously, you are involved in the classroom, but this involvement requires your effort outside the classroom too. Look for opportunities to be involved, i.e., birthdays, sickness, sports events, vacation interests, family crisis, prayer requests, open house at school and friends.
- Your Itinerary! Where are you going in your teaching? They might need some explanation of what your lesson series is about. Normally, parents do not see the lesson plans, so they might need some insight into what your curriculum is about.
- Your Investment! Going the second mile might just be the demonstrations of your caring, your concern, your prayer, your preparation, your follow up that registers your interest in their child. Teaching costs you something, let them know of your investment.
- You, as an Individual! Being open and real is so much appreciated by parents. You model much of the Christian life for the child and their parents when you allow them to enter into your life too. So you share who you are, so they can know something about yourself and your family.
• Use of Incentives
Use of Incentives!
I do believe in incentives, but with some reservations. I do understand that there are external motivation and internal motivation. An example of an external motivation for children might be a prize for accomplishing something the teacher wants them to do. An example of an internal motivation might be the desire to discover the answer to a problem for them selves, without help or reward.
I am personally familiar with the historic Sunday school reward system for perfect attendance, bring your Bible, learn your memory verse and bring a friend, which was rewarded with an annual perfect attendance pin, etc.
In more recent years, it seems we have moved away from this, but what I now appreciate about that form of incentive is that it was uniform, all the teachers did that, not just one.
So here are a dozen problems I see with the giving of incentives.
- There needs to be agreement about what kind of incentives should be given for your whole program.
- There should be a policy about incentives that applies to all the teachers.
- We should understand that some programs are designed for achievement and use incentives, i.e., Boy Scouts and Awana.
- We should avoid external incentives for things children cannot control, like being a twin, or being the tallest.
- We should not provide incentives for moral development.
- We must realize that external motivation can lead to internal motivation when the behavior becomes a habit.
- We need to distinguish the difference between a gift and an incentive. One is the result of an accomplishment. The other requires no accomplishment, (except turning eight! Ha)
- Having an occasional contest or competitive challenge of teams, gender, or classes produces some fun. Learning how to win and loose is really a life lesson.
- I would not advocate that children “get something” for everything they do. There are many behaviors in life that have no external motivation attached to them.
- We must not neglect the power of praise, recognition, appreciation and acknowledgement as re-enforcers to desired behavior.
- Conversely, the power of guilt, shame and/or public accusation can, but may not, motivate persons to right behaviors.
- Avoiding any incentives is one extreme, and excessive use of incentives is the other extreme. Balance and moderation is desirable, with an occasional use of incentives being a real option.
So the unification and moderation, I believe, are preferred for incentives.
• Six Types of Lost Kids
Six Types of Lost Children
Some assume that all lost children are the same. I believe that there are different kinds of lost kids. After years of evangelistic ministry, I think I have discovered a helpful way to describe the condition of children being lost. “Lost” in the Scriptures is used to describe the condition of anyone outside the realm of being made righteous by the Salvation that is only found in Christ finished work on the cross. It is not my purpose here to prove the lostness of children, we could address that at another time.
However, most of us in children’s ministry refer to lost children rather loosely. I am proposing that there are at least Six Kinds of Lost Children, with some variations among these. I have come to the conclusion that the way to sort this out is to understand the types of lost children based upon the spiritual condition of their parents. So you will see in these six types a discussion of the spiritual status of the parents.
• Add Some Bells & Whistles
Add Some Bells and Whistles
Sometimes, the only thing that separates one children’s ministry from another is Bells and Whistles.
Some time ago, I was conducting a week long-evening series of children’s meetings for a church in Northern California. During day I had some free time, so the church arranged luncheons and something to do in the area every day. After a nice lunch out I was given a tour of this man’s furniture business. I found out that he specialized in nice oak bedroom furniture.
It was an impressive tour featuring the entire process from rough oak logs that were turned into beautiful finished oak bedroom furniture, complete with dressers, nightstands, and custom head- boards for beds. The owner/manufacturer volunteered that all his furniture was not really fancy, like some unique bedroom furniture.
“What do you mean?” I inquired.
“Well, it has no “bells and whistles,” he answered. “They have no extra lights, no fancy wood carving, or even no intricate finish designs or paint work, just generic oak furniture.
In reflecting on this description, in the weeks that followed, I realized that this is the one thing that distinguishes some children’s ministries from others. Any two churches could have identical programs, even similar curricula, and be approximately the same size. But the only difference might be, one church has some bells and whistles! So Adding bells and whistles just might be the only creative difference. You might have to step up your ministry process to add some bells and whistles.
Here are Ten Tips for how you might add some bells and whistles:
• Finding Your Life Verse
Finding Your Life Verse
I have not seen much emphasis on this of late, except last Sunday in Church. Our Pastor decided to do a two-week series on Finding Your Life Verse. In my generation it seems that many of my peers had life verses. But the newer generation, they have this vague look when you ask them about it—like they don’t know what you are talking about—what?
A Life Verse can be your favorite verse from the Bible—you know, a verse that you really like or want to be like. This verse might describe a time in your life where the Scripture came to your rescue, which fit your situation. Of course, it is possible to have several favorite verses, but maybe there is one that always speaks to you.
Several years ago, I was looking for devotional books that I could read a little in every day. I found several books like this, but the one that caught my interest was One Hundred Verses that Changed the World, by William and Randy Petersen. So I bought it and found one-page stories of famous Christian leaders through the years with their favorite Bible verses illustrated by their life stories.
Here are few leaders and their verses that you might be interested in knowing about:
- Martin Luther—Rom. 1:17
- Christopher Columbus—Isa. 49:1
- John Bunyan—1 Cor. 1:30
- Robert Raikes—Matt.12:11-12
- George Mueller—Psa. 81:10
- Fanny Crosby—1 John 3:2
- Hudson Taylor—Mark 11:22
- Dwight Moody—John 3:16
- J.C. Penny—Luke 6:31
- Billy Graham—Rom. 5:8
- Bill Bright—Acts 22:8, 10
- Joni Erickson Tada—Rom. 8:28
For myself, the day I was called into the ministry, God gave me this verse—Jeremiah 33:3. At the time, it meant a lot, but over the years, it has meant much more. In my mind, it kind of summarizes what my life story has become. “Call upon Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things, that you do not know.” Things happen when I just Call Upon Him! Just like using the telephone!
I can think of many things that God has done in my life in response to this Life Verse.
The Challenge:
Maybe you have not found your Life Verse yet. I would challenge you visit this idea and find a Special Verse that suits you. Ask God to give you a Life Verse that just might become the compass that defines your life adventure in following God. Maybe, it is time to be looking for another verse, a verse that will characterize your future. How does your Life Verse relate you being in Children’s Ministry?
Be prepared to talk about your selection.
• Your Decision to Leave
Your Decision to Leave!
So you have decided to leave your position as Children’s Leader at your church. Perhaps “going for the door” was not an “easy” decision to make. On the other hand, it might have just been the “obvious” decision to make. God has been speaking to you and you have agreed, “it was the time” to turn in your resignation. Do you have a place to go?
If you have decided to turn in your resignation, then here are My Top Seven Things to do before leaving:
1. Use only “One Reason” for leaving! Of course, the only good reason is that the Lord has led you. All other reasons, which might be good ones, should not be shared with anyone from the Church. Your written resignation, your public statements and your personal discussions should reflect this one reason. Failure to do so might give your future references difference stories why you left.
2. Give an “Appropriate Notice!” A good rule of thumb is “a week for every year served” or a month for every five years, under good circumstances. However, with conditions less than perfect, a quick exit signals issues. A proper resignation is one that you discuss with your Pastor, so you are agreed about the terms of your resignation.
3. “Finish Strong” before you leave! They are not paying you to pack so work. No “floating!” Rather, you need take the time to prepare your leaders to carry on without you. Leave a “Map,” This might require a “labor of love.” Put together a file or notebook of sources, resources, plans, future dates, personnel and for those taking the reins after you is appropriate. This is one thing you can work on before you leave.
4. An exit requires “Saying Goodbye!” It is appropriate to say “goodbye” to the kids, parents and leaders that you have worked with during your tenure. It is also appropriate to send some letters of appreciation to your key leaders and friends. Lack of this social grace is offensive to good relationships.
5. Take the “High Road” in all communication about your decision. Avoid discussing the extenuating circumstances and/or the issues with personalities involved in your departure. This could just follow you out the door. Show your maturity and professionalism by wanting what is best for the unity of the church. “Much of what could be said, should not to be said.” It won’t help now.
6. Create “Good Will” as leave! Do not “burn your bridges” behind you. Keep the “doors open,” you might need either: their references, their involvement or their resources later. Purging your file folder and culling your computer records is appropriate, but leaving no information for those who follow you is improper and creates no “good will.” Avoid taking what is not yours—no “good will” in that!
7. Reflect on “Lessons Learned.” A written effort will serve you going forward. Make it your resolve to have a fresh start with these lessons in mind. This might be really helpful to you as you start again in new place of ministry.
• Target Aud—Home Schoolers
#8. Focus on Home Schoolers
I think every Children’s Pastor must align himself with these home schooling families, not just give lip service, but by actively showing support to those parents committed to influencing their own children. To ignore them is to miss a great opportunity to work with really committed parents who want to raise the bar for Christian education.
It has been my experience that this growing Home-School constituency can be a great asset to your children’s ministry, but partnering with them is required. You cannot ignore them, or you will not enjoy their support. Showing you care will pay dividends.
Here are my Seven Tips on How to Sharpen Your Focus on Home-School Families.
• Next Step Is—Another Step!
Next Step Is—Just Another Step!
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time!” ~ Joe Girard
The next step is easiest when you are running, but finding the next step is harder when you just stop, or get stuck! Then you might just discover how illusive the next step can be. So you ask, “What is the next step?” The next step often is something so small, so easy, that we miss it. It is just…another step, not a hop, skip or jump.
“What can I do next?” Anything, any movement of any kind, in anyway is what is often needed. We think we cannot deal with stuff, because it will take too much time, or too much effort now. This is because we are looking at the end product. We need to focus on keeping the project “moving”—just doing something small, frequently!
Being stuck can immobilize your forward progress, so figuring out what to do next can free the logjam. Every thing can stop, if you have no clue what’s the next step. I have found that developing a plan of steps can be initiated by finding just the next step, be it ever so small.
Here are some options for figuring out your next step, if you are stuck.
- Keep the project in front of you daily.
- Get some outside help.
- Talk about your situation.
- Brainstorm “what if” scenarios.
- Do Research on the idea.
- Has anyone else done this?
- Read up on the issues.
- Find a professional or authority.
- Google search for related projects.
- Pray for insight to solve what’s next.
- Find someone who has done it.
- Close your eyes, visualize the possibilities, brainstorm ideas.
- Find a suitable metaphor to explain what the problem is like.
- Consider what could make the impossible possible.
- Commit to think on paper, collect thoughts and ideas in a file folder.
- Become accountable to someone who will champion your process.
- Keep on asking, seeking and knocking, persistence counts!
- It’s small steps, not giant leaps!
Lessons Learned:
1. Picking the next step is progress. Taking just another step moves you forward. You can achieve your goals from the collection of small steps.
2. Look back on your progress! This may yield clues going forward. What actually worked—how and why? A turtle is a plodder who moves with rhythmic steps.
3. Your achievable plans come from this next step recorded in your “To Do” List.
4. A good leader must be able to figure out just what the next step involves when they are stalled, stuck or immobile. Do your homework! Move the Rock!
“You do not have to see the whole staircase in order to take the next step!”
• Target Audience—Grandparents
The seventh in a series that will attempt to help you deal with some of the issues you face in relating to various constituents in your children’s ministry.
#7. Focus on Grandparents
It is too easy to ignore this seasoned, experienced group in your ministry constituency. You must learn how to involve grandparents to reach the third generation. I am not just talking about involving seniors in the nursery. I am suggesting that you train them in how to minister to their grand kids and the kids in your program. Children’s ministry for grandparents represents their “last chance for influence.” Make them your Care Team. They need vision, challenge and resources to “do it,” one more time. Sure they will be slower, but they have more available time for nurture and follow up. They need to be challenged about leaving a spiritual Legacy for their “children’s children.” (This is the Bible’s way of referring to grandparents)
So if you want to improve you focus on Grandparents, here are my Top-Ten Ways to involve Grandparents in your ministry.
